


Promise, Comfort, Hug, Love Confession

by d0mesticbliss



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M, Love, Philinda - Freeform, Philinda Secret Santa, perf
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-23
Updated: 2014-12-23
Packaged: 2018-03-03 00:45:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2832008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/d0mesticbliss/pseuds/d0mesticbliss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is my gift to badassblackwidowcavalry! I was your Secret Santa! Yes, I'm so sorry that I am so bad with keeping up with your answers to my anonymous questions. I'M SO BAD! I tried my best, but I failed miserably. Also, I am deeply sorry for posting this LATE!!!! I'm SO SO SO SO SORRY!!!!! Hopefully, this fanfic will make up for it!</p><p>This was a fic for the Philinda Secret Santa on Tumblr! My prompt was: Promise, Comfort, Hug, Love Confession.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Promise, Comfort, Hug, Love Confession

**Author's Note:**

> The scenes I used for inspiration (in order presented in the fic): 2x04, 1x13, 1x20, 2x02.
> 
> I need to make this clear: THE EVENTS IN THIS FIC DO NOT CORRESPOND WITH THE EVENTS IN THE SHOW. So, the events here, are not in the same order they were in the show.
> 
> To you (badassblackwidowcavalry) and everyone else, ENJOY! :D

_Promise._

Melinda May was not the type of person who made promises. Promises were empty words that could never be guaranteed to be true. Promises were the number one way to lose the people you care about. May knew that better than anyone else. Out of the few promises she had made, all were based on good intentions, yet all crashed and burned like so many missions Melinda had been a part of. She had lost Coulson. She had lost herself.

All these thoughts cycled through her mind as she made yet another promise to the man she loved.

He told her that her plan to help him no matter what happened was selfless - it wasn't. It was completely selfish because without him...

“Hard choices are coming. I need you to make this one. For me.”

_“No,” was all she could think._

She didn't protest. She knew it would get them nowhere because she knew Phil. But she also knew what this would do to her - what she was telling him she would do. Yet, at the same time, she understood what this meant to him. How much he needed this, so she stoned her features as best she could and gave two quick, yet hesitant nods. He mattered more to her than herself, and she would do anything for him, no matter what the cost.

They sat there using the silence to process what they'd just agreed to until May couldn't sit any longer. She stood up abruptly and began to walk quickly toward the door - he didn't stop her. She needed her space, and he understood that. A part of her wanted him to call out to her; a part of her wanted him to allow her to take back this godforsaken promise.

He didn't say a word.

•••

_Comfort._

How could she put herself in danger like that?

_“Because she's May,” Coulson's mind tells him._

He wasn't angry at her; he was angry that she wouldn't put herself first. If she had waited - she wouldn't have waited. It wasn't who she was.

Point is, he should've been able to protect her, yet here she was again, protecting him - the team. She had gotten captured and beaten because she was attempting to keep everyone but herself safe.

She pushed past Coulson stating firm orders to get the plane up and running again in an attempt to take focus off of her injuries - it didn't work. He was obviously concerned about her health and well-being, but she was determined to brush it off and ignore him.

“May, Russo was -” her back was turned to him, “Explain yourself - please!”

She faced him, and spoke quickly.

“The train didn't disappear. Russo sold us out.”

She spat out a quick, 'I need a shower,' before storming off. He knew she was holding in a lot more pain than she let everyone else know, and it hurt him to know she was trying so desperately to not be vulnerable. It seemed as if that took an even harsher toll on her than letting out her emotions would have. The crease between her eyebrows, the twitch in her eyes, the roll of her head to re-center her stoic features when her emotions become too prominent - these were all things that never existed before Bahrain.

~~

Because of the amount of blood on May's shoulder, he wanted to check up on her to make sure she was okay.

There was a brightness flowing out of the small room they used for a medical "facility", so Phil made his way toward the light.

He found her there, about to stitch up the wound without even applying any type of antibacterial ointment on it.

“Let me help,” he uttered, reaching for the supplies he would need to care for the wound correctly.

She doesn't respond.

“You know, we have this stuff for a reason,” he tries, but she only slowly removes the needle from her skin with her back to him. He does what he feels will be the most reassuring in a way that she won't push him away - he rests his hand on her lower back, guiding her to the table. She grunts as she jumps up onto the cool surface.

“Are you okay?” he asks her not expecting a real answer.

“Phil.”

She looks him in the eyes with one of her glares telling him to back off.

“No, really, Melinda. Be truthful. You don't have to be okay. You're human. You're not a robot,” he pauses because he knows that she isn't comfortable with this type of conversation, and she's avoiding eye contact with him.

By this time, he has removed the Q-tip that had the ointment on it and placed it in the garbage can, so he can fully focus on her and her alone.

“I know you will never tell me when you need a break, and I know that you will never put yourself before others. But please, just tell me you're okay.”

She looks to him, her eyes softened, “I'm okay.”

She even gave him a side smirk.

“Okay. See? That wasn't too hard, was it?” he replies with his own little smirk as he places the cotton pad atop the large gash on her chest.

Melinda foolishly tries to pull her straps back over her shoulder, hissing in pain.

“I got it.” But of course, she doesn't back down, and neither does he, forcing them both to adjust the garments together, “Gently.” They finally get them back into place. “Okay.”

“Thank you,” she whispers.

He doesn't respond, only smiles subtly.

“Did he get you anywhere else?”

At that, Melinda scoffs and gives him one of her quick half smiles.

•••

_Hug._

It was always the plan to get the flash drive and bring it back to Coulson, she just....she never knew when the right time would've been. Fury had made it her priority to not tell Coulson anything about T.A.H.I.T.I. even if it tore her apart to keep something so big from him. At the time, she was convinced that that was the only way to protect him. She thought he would understand that every thing she did - she did out of love.

She tried to ignore those feelings. What could become of them? What could they do about them? Nothing, so she buried them. When Coulson had first met Audrey, May acted supportive because that's what best friends do. When they're best friend finds something really good, they help them chase it. They show support no matter what.

Even if that friend is in love with the other.

He and Audrey had an amazing thing going. Phil was happy, and that was all Melinda could hope for. She really did think they were going to get married and maybe have an equally amazing life together, but then the Battle of New York happened.

_“Time to deal with reality,” she says in her mind._

She is in her car, a block away from the hotel Maria told her the team was staying. She unbuckles the seat belt and opens the door of the car, closing and locking it as she walks toward the hotel. It was simple enough to figure out which room was Coulson's, for she had been watching for the room Maria had walked into earlier along with Phil. She'd been watching from afar: how the team functioned without her. They could manage without her.

As she found an easy way to slip into the room unnoticed, May thought through the plan for the near future. What would she do after she gave Coulson what he wanted?

Maybe she would leave after she gave him the information.

She was now inside the room.

Then again, once he saw what was on this drive, perhaps he would need her to stay...

Before she could dwell on the thought any longer, she heard the greeting of a card sliding into the slot of the door, and the granting of entry to the room. She stood next to the lamp she had turned on as he walks in the doorway. He pauses when he sees her. Then, he catches himself, and begins to walk towards her, “I was...hoping you'd come back,” he begins, “Ward...he's-”

“I know,” she replies, closing the distance between them, “Hill told me.”

There's a thick silence for a couple seconds before May decides to rip the bandaid off quickly saying, “There's something you need to see.”

He doesn't move, but there's something on his face that she isn't expecting.

“Phil-”

He closes the distance between them completely and pulls her into a warm embrace. May stands still. Everything is still. Then, she blinks and slowly moves her hands up to his back while placing her head in the crook of his neck, pulling him closer. Her eyes are open now, but she can feel the need to cry, eyes watering. She blinks rapidly now in a futile attempt to dry her them before he notices.

“I'm sorry, May.”

She doesn't say anything, just holds him a little tighter against her.

•••

_Love Confession._

There she is. Reading him like an open book.

“I know you, and I know when you're overly stressed.”

She holds up the paper clip he had tried to hide from her. He allowed her to talk, knowing it was dangerous to interject when she's in this mood.

“It's been 18 days since your last episode-”

_“It wasn't 18,” he thinks._

“17-”

“18,” she cuts in with her face that says 'I'm right and you're wrong', “Which means you're due for another one.”

She finishes, and doesn't have to wait long for his response.

“Overdue. And I'm tired of fighting it.”

He averts using eye contact with her because he feels a bit ashamed that he's included her in this mess he calls his life.

“So don't. That's why I'm here.”

He doesn't want to hurt her. And then he realizes that he didn't really have a choice when it came to having her become a part of his everyday life. She would've found out even if he hadn't told her. Because he means a lot to her. She has no idea how much she means to him. It's in moments like these when he is reminded of how much he cares about her. How much he loves her. Times like this, when she demonstrates her selflessness and her willingness to drop everything for someone she cares about. These traits are only two of the many things he loves about her.

She's setting up the camera to be ready to take pictures of whatever he begins to carve into the wall as he lets his thoughts wander. By some miracle, he is no longer focused on carving.

It's no secret that even in the Academy, people had been rooting for them to be a couple. Some even thought it was a matter of when it would happen rather than a matter of if it would happen. Now, it feels as if the whole team has also become one of their 'fangirls'. Phil knew it wouldn't be a big surprise if Skye and Tripp had made a bet on when or if he and Melinda would become more than just friends. Perhaps, they had even gotten FitzSimmons to participate in the bet.

“May,” he calls gently.

She immediately discontinues her movements, eyes alert, ready to assist him in whatever he needed at that moment. He just smiles a genuine smile.

“What's wrong?” she asks with an edge in her voice.

No going back now.

“I love you.”

This takes her aback. She doesn't say anything. The alarm that was in her eyes a moment ago is now replaced with something else - hurt?

“Phil.”

She said it in a tone that was usually used when she wanted to warn him to not go further. It was that tone she always used whenever he was making a decision that put him in danger or when he told her to make that promise to shoot him in the head if he went the way of Garrett.

“Please. Don't say anymore.”

Her voice was a lot softer now, but it was laced with a sadness that he didn't understand.

“I mean it, Melinda.”

Whenever he would use her first name, she always seemed to respond better. It felt more personal in a way that only they could understand.

“I love you,” he says again, “I've loved you for a long while now. I've kept it in, scared that if I told you, I'd end up hurting you. And I know, that if you ever felt the same way, you would have never told me, so here I am making the first move.” He pauses for a moment, taking in her facial features. She is blinking profusely now, but hasn't moved from her position over the camera. He now stands, tentatively making his way toward her from his desk. The need to carve is long gone, though he knows it will be back, but for now, she was all that mattered.

“I love every part of you. The good. The bad. Whatever you consider to be unlovable, I have learned to love because every trauma you have had to endure, every hurt you have felt, every joy that has been graced upon you has made you who you are today, and I love every part. Everything. You. I may not know everything there is to know about you, but I sure as hell want to have the opportunity to learn because learning everything about you is all I could ever wish for. I love you, Melinda.”

He is only a few feet in front of her now. She has several emotions flooding her eyes. He tries to reach out to her, but she pulls away. It stings a bit when she is hesitant to let him touch her, but he gives her space.

“Please. Don't.”

Her voice is shaky now but still firm. She can't make eye contact with him. He lets her talk because he has done his part. It's her turn.

“Don't tell me you love me if you aren't going to fully mean it,” she looks up to him now and his eyes urge her to go on, so she does, “I've always told myself I'd never allow myself to love somebody fully because I know they're only going to hurt me.” This time, she pauses - taking in his reaction. He is listening attentively with a twinge of hurt she knows too well in his eyes. She doesn't want to hurt him, so she continues.

“But with you, Phil. You snuck up on me while I had my guard down. I've loved you for longer than I'd like to admit. You have the potential to hurt me so much more than I've ever been comfortable with. If something were to happen -” she takes a sharp intake of breath. He's never seen her this emotionally unstable, and it hurts him to watch. But he knows she doesn't want to be interrupted, so he bites his tongue.

“When Fury told me you were...gone, I had to sit. I got home, and I broke down. I-I was in love with you, but you were with Audrey, and I was so happy that you were happy. I-,” she locks her tear filled eyes to his, “I couldn't ruin your happiness. You were better off with her than you ever would've been with me. She was the one that would make your life complete. She was going to give you the life you'd always wanted. And I wanted that for you. I wanted you to have the best life you could possibly have, and that wasn't with me. But you were gone, and you were never going to experience that joy of having that perfect life! Maybe if I was there or-”

He's heard enough. He closes the distance between them and forces her lips to his in a chaste kiss. His hands cup her face, and when the tears stream down to her cheeks, he wipes them away lovingly with one of his fingers. She kisses him back in a needy way that he never would have expected from her. She places her hands around his neck. When they pull away, resting their foreheads together, he opens his eyes to see the crease between her brow. He moves his hands down to her neck, and she doesn't open her eyes. She just allows the tears to leave them and relishes in the moment they're sharing. He loves her. She loves him. This is what movies are made of. When she finally opens her eyes, she sees Coulson smiling and it makes her smile along with him with new tears, happy tears streaming down her face, and she pulls him into a hug. When they've released each other, and Melinda is composed, Phil breaks into a satisfied grin.

“What?”

He responds quickly, “Who do you think won the bet?”

She furrows her brow, “What bet?”

Then, she thinks about it for a couple seconds, and her brow unfurls. She looks back to Phil.

“What do you say we go and find out?”

He smiles back to her and grabs her hand as they begin to make their way to the rest of their little family they've been able to build around themselves.

_** I'm so sorry this was late! I really tried my best to finish it on time, but it didn't work out like that! I hope this fic was worth the wait! I'm not really sure what I planned to accomplish in this fic other than giving happiness to badassblackwidowcavalry! I basically like the fic write itself. I felt it going one way, so I followed it, and this is the final result. Thank you so much angeperalta for being my beta! I'm sorry I let you in on it way too late! xD Thank you for reading this fic! I hope you all enjoyed! ** _

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry this was late! I really tried my best to finish it on time, but it didn't work out like that! I hope this fic was worth the wait! I'm not really sure what I planned to accomplish in this fic other than giving happiness to badassblackwidowcavalry! I basically like the fic write itself. I felt it going one way, so I followed it, and this is the final result. Thank you so much angeperalta for being my beta! I'm sorry I let you in on it way too late! xD Thank you for reading this fic! I hope you all enjoyed!


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